In the Balance

The next 5 days will determine if I die happy.  Wait, is that too much gravitas for a sporting event?  Nahhh, didn’t think so.

All Aboard…

The Bandwagon’s got some room left, but it’s definitely revving up to leave the station.  We understand that you’re cautious after those 2006 Finals and the subsequent 1-8 first round exit in 2007, but we’re back, baby and not even Lamar Kardashian and Thugdrew Bynum can stop us.   I mean, the Lakers did get swept, right?

MFFL

Customers II

I’m always amazed at how parents deal with their children, especially in public places.  It seems as though people who have children somehow automatically develop a muffler for their ears, designed to take out the sound of their children.  Unfortunately, the rest of us (who don’t have any kids) do not have this evolutionary ability–and the level of noise seems to stress us out.

The other day, a large family came in and herded themselves around the counter as they all tried to place their order together.  The smallest member of the family (about 4 years old) kept saying, “I want a coffee!”

The mom ignored her, as she was trying to get the rest of the family’s drinks ordered.  As she kept fielding requests from the other members of the family, the child kept trying to get her attention.

At first, she kept repeating her request.  “I want a coffee too!” She must have repeated this four or five times.  To no avail, her mother kept ordering drinks for the rest of the family.

I could already see what the next phase of the child’s plan was–if at first you don’t succeed, try again.  And if you try and fail again, try harder–or at least in her case, try louder.

The child became impatient that her mother didn’t acknowledge her, so she got louder.  “Mom!  I WANT A COFFEE!”  “COFFEE!”  “COFFEE MOM!”  “I WANT A COFFEE!”

Her mother looked at me and quietly said, “She wants a hot chocolate that comes in the cup that looks like the rest of ours.  She thinks that is coffee.”

As the mother tells me this, I notice that she never directly lets her child know that she heard her.

“COFFEE!”  “COFFEE! MOM I WANT A COFFEE!”

My coworker looked at me when the mother (and family) were distracted and asked if I heard that sound.

“What sound?” I asked.

“The sound of my tubes being tied.” she responded.

Although I didn’t get it at first, it was quite a funny line.

I repeated the order to the mother and tried to give her a total, the child shouted at her mother, “DON”T FORGET ME!  I WANT A COFFEE TOO!  WITH WHIPPED CREAM!”

That was it.  I couldn’t take it any more.  So, I simply stopped, and looked directly at the child and said, “I heard you.”

This of course shocked the child, so I followed up with “We’ll make sure your coffee comes with whipped cream.” At this point, the chaotic and frantic request of noise ceased.

The mother looked at me incredulously, and then said “Thank you.”

As I got all the drinks together, I pulled the hot chocolate and handed it directly to the child.  I said, “Here’s your coffee–with whipped cream.”

She took the drink, looked at me and said, “Thank you.”

Sometimes, I wonder if all of us just want to feel like we’ve been heard.  I also wonder what would happen if the rest of us just took the time to truly listen.

Anticipation

You know what this means!

TV Expert

I’m not much of a television watcher.  My roommates over the years will attest to that.  Despite the fact that I absolutely adore watching television outside, I rarely find myself on the couch killing an evening in front of the tube.  I’d rather be engaged in some combination of reading, drinking, tinkering, gaming, drinking.  Oddly enough, though, my wife and I got to thinking about the various tv series where we have seen nearly every episode, and my list was pretty high, or at least, higher than I thought it would be.  So here, in no particular order, are the series where I have seen every episode:

The Office (OMG, like 10 times each!)

30 Rock

Parks and Recreation

Glee

The Cosby Show

Cheers

Moonlighting (the above three courtesy of Nick at Night)

Night Court

Scrubs (yes, even the last season at the medical school)

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (I know it was only one season, but it was great, I’ve got it downloaded and I’ve watched it multiple times)

Seinfeld

House

The Big Bang Theory

Modern Family

Frasier

The Wonder Years (From Candace Cameron to Drew Barrymore to Natalie Portman to the counselor chick on Glee now that Natalie is preggers and thus unattractive, none will ever top Winnie Cooper)

NewsRadio

Roseanne

Entourage

Maybe that doesn’t seem like a lot to you, but it does to me, and I’m probably leaving off one or two.  Thanks to Hulu and some “friends” of mine who lend me stuff over the internets, I’ve been able to obsess about a show without it really interfering much with my desire to not sit on the couch.  Because I’m an obsessive person.  So the weird thing is that if I were to expand that list to include all tv series where I’ve seen at least 10 episodes, the list wouldn’t grow by a whole lot.  Sure, I’d be able to add Always Sunny (the best show ever created in my opinion), but most things I obsessively DON’T watch.  Never saw a single full episode of Friends, ER, The Amazing Race, Sex in the City, Grey’s, PP, Desperate Housewives, Survivor, LOST, or any number of shows that some people casually watch.

I’m not a casual person, I guess.  In for a dime, in for a dollar.

Customers I

The field of customer service can be a bit trying at times.  Basically, what I’ve found is that everyone is in a tremendous hurry–which can be a bit frustrating to someone who is still unfamiliar with the computer system (to ring up sale items) as well as the content of what ingredients go into which product.  Add to that trying to learn the fascinating language of the products that everyone around me seems to understand–but which I am slow to comprehend–and you will be able to easily deduce that I am one of the slowest workers behind the counter.

Seriously, a customer actually walked up and ordered a “Double Mocha Peppermint Frappuccino, Skinny, with whip, and make that Affogato style.” All I’m thinking is “A what?  Where the hell is that on the computer?”

No doubt, in times like these, I don’t feel as though I’m ever going to get it.  But I know that I will be able to put it all together and become faster with more experience.

One of the things that I have been able to contribute to the store is a willingness to understand what a customer actually wants.  Most of the time, it’s me who needs the lesson–but every once in a while, I’m actually able to slow everything down to figure out that the customer is just trying to communicate what they’d like to have.

Where I work, we have quite a few elderly who visit the store during the day.  It’s quite interesting to watch who are the regulars and who comes in to meet up with their friends.  The other day, a customer came in, and this conversation played out:

Customer:  “I’d like, a…” pause
“I’d like…” pause
He eventually names a bold blend of coffee.

Manager (interrupting and seemingly agitated):  “That’s a bold–and we don’t carry that here.  We only carry the medium blend.”

Customer:  “M…M…MELD!”

Manager (interrupting again):  “We don’t carry that blend.  We only have the medium.  I’ll get you a medium size.”

Customer:  “M…MELD!” pause
“MELD!  M…M…MELD!”

Manager (to me):  “Just ring up a medium brewed coffee for him.”

This entire exchange took place very quickly on her end, but I could see that the customer was growing frustrated.  But, being employed is better than not these days, so I did what I was told, and by the time I was done ringing him up, the manager had placed the cup of coffee on the counter.

She runs into me in the back and tells me that he’s rude.  That he visits all the other stores in the city and though he dresses nice, no one can figure him out because he seems to walk everywhere.  She also lets me know that each time she lets him know that we don’t carry the blend he’s asking for.

I inform her that I didn’t think he was rude (rather I thought she was) and that perhaps he was just trying to form some words.  In fact, I let her know that I suspected that he might have had a stroke and was simply trying to communicate.

Manager:  “You’re going to make me feel bad!”

I didn’t really care about her feelings at this point.  I was happy that I was at least able to point a different view out to her without blatantly calling her rude.

Five minutes later, the customer returns.  He keeps stuttering and is finally able to repeat the word “Meld!” out several times.

I figured out that he was simply trying to say “Mild” and just wanted the coffee watered down.

Seems as though this has made a difference for him as he has been back several times.  The best part is that he smiles at me whenever I take his order.

Why?

I check the temperature and find that it’s currently 42 degrees. Tonite, my goal is to run 6 miles. It’s the middle run of the three consecutive week running days that my program is calling for. Without the 7 mph wind from the north, I wouldn’t mind so much, but I am really not looking forward to the chill.

My only suggested items this year to my family for Christmas all pertained to running. My parents were nice enough to buy a water belt, which as my sister pointed out, was way too small for my waist. (I didn’t know how to take that once I found out.) My sister was kind enough to get me some gift certificates to purchase the Mumford & Sons album–an artist I hadn’t heard of yet, which was nice. My wife bought me a pair of gloves after I complained about how sensitive they were to the wind.

Armed with layered long sleeve shirts, the gloves, and some cold weather running pants, I laced up the shoes, started the GPS watch I have, fired up the Ipod, and off I went–into the cold.

When I tell people how many miles I am going to run on any given day, I often get some strange looks. Sometimes they’re looks of disbelief (“Did you say you were going to run Six miles?”). Sometimes they’re looks of fascination (“Wow! That’s a long way to go!“). And other times they’re looks of envy (“I could never run that far.”). No matter what, the question I always end up answering goes something like this: “Why?”

To be honest, I don’t really know. Eight years ago, I was eating fast-food twice a day, and going out to the bars 3 times a week. At the time, I figured I could afford to have such an unhealthy lifestyle. My roommate suggested we take advantage of the running loop in front of our apartment complex, and so I did. A quarter-mile in, I had to stop. Eventually, I made it to a mile–and since it was time for New Year’s resolutions, I resolved to complete a marathon.

Yes, it was unrealistic. That goal meant a lot of lifestyle changes–ones that I wasn’t prepared to make sacrifices for. And after deciding that I liked the fast food and bars more than huffing & puffing, I dropped the goal from “New Year’s Resolution” status to “One Day” status.

Over a year ago, I completed a half-marathon, which for me was pretty huge. Unfortunately, I stopped running due to the weather, and began to take a more comfortable approach to life. No, I no longer was eating fast food twice a day, but I certainly wasn’t excersizing either.

That was, until about 6 months ago. After 2 months of being out of a full-time job, I decided that I would use the extra time to do something that could help build my self-esteem. It wasn’t as bad as the first time, (I think I made it just about a mile), but it was something that I could build upon. Week after week, I put on the shorts, laced up the shoes, and grabbed the leashes of my two dogs for a run. What I found was that the effort paid off in building up mileage–and that I actually enjoyed meeting the mileage goals set. At the end of each run, I felt better. My mood was elated, and I had something that I earned through my own determination & work.

The seasons changed, and now it’s cold outside. Just another obstacle that I have to decide to accept or ignore. Over the weekend, I was able to do a 12 mile run. I’m well on pace for the 1/2 marathon my sister has signed me up for in March.

So, why do I do it? I think that I began because I felt it was something that could better myself physically. But now, I do it because I believe that I learn something through the act of running.

Right now, I believe that I’m learning that the things in life that truly mean something aren’t necessarily always handed to you. No one can run 12 miles for me. I have to do that myself, and I couldn’t do that unless I put in the work and make the choices that help me meet that goal. Same in life I guess. I can wish as much as I want for a full-time position, or even several part-time positions–but unless I put in the work to make that happen, I most likely won’t ever get there. I believe that so many of us are living in a world of entitlement expectations–and I for one have begun to realize that I have a lot of work to do in order to drop that from my understanding of what life is all about.

Amazingly, after I had this revelation, I received a phone call for a potential position. It isn’t the greatest position ever–but it’s one in which I will happily accept, knowing that it will be my own effort & attitude that will propel me into one that I like better.

This weekend’s goal is 13 miles. I wonder what I might learn. As I gain some of these insights (or revelations to me), I hope to post them. Happy running.

Adulthood

The quoted section below is an excerpt from the much celebrated interview that Terry Gross of Fresh Air did with Jon Stewart in October (Yes, I’m just getting to it.  Did I mention we have a mobile infant in the house?).  Apart from being very funny, Jon Stewart pretty much encapsulates what I try to do on a daily basis.  What I love is not so much what he says, as what he leaves out.  My friends tend to be pretty responsible people, so much of this is just preaching to the choir and me venting at nobody in particular, but too often I see adult, grown-ass men (and women) just not wanting to act like adults and do the hard stuff.

When Mr. Stewart describes his approach to balancing work and home, you’ll notice that he doesn’t talk about making sure that he gets to watch the game or go out with his poker buddies.  If these things happen, I’m sure he’s probably thrilled as it’s undoubtedly important to make time for yourself.  But the bottom line is that for the most part, adults have made adult decisions and have responsibilities to other people based on those decisions.

Work at work.  Be at home at home.  Then, if there’s time and energy left, do whatever the hell you want.  My experience suggests that you will have approximately 20 minutes at the end of everyday for this.  Cherish it.  The experiences of the people I consider to be extremely successful in life suggests that doing this now means that down the road, you’ll have all the time and energy and creativity and support to do whatever you want for nearly as long as you want.  But for now, when people rely on you because of decisions you’ve made, do the hard stuff.  Hold yourself accountable.  Hold your partner accountable.

GROSS: Have you changed the amount of time you’re willing to devote to the show and to work, now that you’re the father of two?

Mr. STEWART: No. I’d rather they suffer.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. STEWART: I’d rather not. I figure I’ll catch up with them.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. STEWART: No. But what I have decided is when I’m home, I’m home. And to me, that’s the difference. You know, I can’t not be at work, but the real challenge is when I’m at work, I’m at work. I’m locked in, I’m ready to go, I’m focused. When I’m at home, I’m locked in, and I’m ready to go, and I’m focused on home. And we don’t watch the show. We don’t watch the news. We don’t do any of that stuff. I sit down, I play Barbies. I, you know – and then sometimes, the kids will come home and play with me…You know, it just – you know, they’re just sitting there. I mean, she’s got a horse and a kitchen, and I just think like, the possibilities.

If I’m able to give them my full attention for the amount of time I’m able to give it to them, I prefer that to, you know – I like to turn the switch on and off. And it’s still, you know, it’ll – in times like this, I don’t sleep well, just because of so much that’s going on. But I try not to let it affect me in my waking hours.

2011

For the life of me, I don’t understand why teenagers often report that old people are uncool and that they never want to get married and have kids.

My wife and I just rang in the new year by eating various kinds of fried food I bought at the Wal-Mart today, drinking a Sam Adams seasonal brew, and watching a bad movie from the Redbox followed by a House Hunters marathon.

What’s not to love about that?

(Ah, who am I kidding?  I couldn’t be happier.  Teenagers are stupid.)

Onward We Roll

2010 was good to me.  It wasn’t good to everyone.  And I don’t just mean in that abstract sense of people in general losing their jobs around the country due to the recession.  I mean that many of my friends have or are still facing a lot of difficulties in their lives to that end, I’ll be offering videos and drinks (!) of hope over the next few days as we ring in the new year.

Let’s start with the other half of STN. Still out of work (but hopefully not for much longer), I would suggest the following beer to pair with the two songs below which will help you to put 2010 in the rearview and get ready to kick some ass in 2011:

Here’s your first song, “One Good Year” by Slaid Cleaves:

And just to get you into the hustling spirit, this popular ditty by Aloe Black: