Why?

I check the temperature and find that it’s currently 42 degrees. Tonite, my goal is to run 6 miles. It’s the middle run of the three consecutive week running days that my program is calling for. Without the 7 mph wind from the north, I wouldn’t mind so much, but I am really not looking forward to the chill.

My only suggested items this year to my family for Christmas all pertained to running. My parents were nice enough to buy a water belt, which as my sister pointed out, was way too small for my waist. (I didn’t know how to take that once I found out.) My sister was kind enough to get me some gift certificates to purchase the Mumford & Sons album–an artist I hadn’t heard of yet, which was nice. My wife bought me a pair of gloves after I complained about how sensitive they were to the wind.

Armed with layered long sleeve shirts, the gloves, and some cold weather running pants, I laced up the shoes, started the GPS watch I have, fired up the Ipod, and off I went–into the cold.

When I tell people how many miles I am going to run on any given day, I often get some strange looks. Sometimes they’re looks of disbelief (“Did you say you were going to run Six miles?”). Sometimes they’re looks of fascination (“Wow! That’s a long way to go!“). And other times they’re looks of envy (“I could never run that far.”). No matter what, the question I always end up answering goes something like this: “Why?”

To be honest, I don’t really know. Eight years ago, I was eating fast-food twice a day, and going out to the bars 3 times a week. At the time, I figured I could afford to have such an unhealthy lifestyle. My roommate suggested we take advantage of the running loop in front of our apartment complex, and so I did. A quarter-mile in, I had to stop. Eventually, I made it to a mile–and since it was time for New Year’s resolutions, I resolved to complete a marathon.

Yes, it was unrealistic. That goal meant a lot of lifestyle changes–ones that I wasn’t prepared to make sacrifices for. And after deciding that I liked the fast food and bars more than huffing & puffing, I dropped the goal from “New Year’s Resolution” status to “One Day” status.

Over a year ago, I completed a half-marathon, which for me was pretty huge. Unfortunately, I stopped running due to the weather, and began to take a more comfortable approach to life. No, I no longer was eating fast food twice a day, but I certainly wasn’t excersizing either.

That was, until about 6 months ago. After 2 months of being out of a full-time job, I decided that I would use the extra time to do something that could help build my self-esteem. It wasn’t as bad as the first time, (I think I made it just about a mile), but it was something that I could build upon. Week after week, I put on the shorts, laced up the shoes, and grabbed the leashes of my two dogs for a run. What I found was that the effort paid off in building up mileage–and that I actually enjoyed meeting the mileage goals set. At the end of each run, I felt better. My mood was elated, and I had something that I earned through my own determination & work.

The seasons changed, and now it’s cold outside. Just another obstacle that I have to decide to accept or ignore. Over the weekend, I was able to do a 12 mile run. I’m well on pace for the 1/2 marathon my sister has signed me up for in March.

So, why do I do it? I think that I began because I felt it was something that could better myself physically. But now, I do it because I believe that I learn something through the act of running.

Right now, I believe that I’m learning that the things in life that truly mean something aren’t necessarily always handed to you. No one can run 12 miles for me. I have to do that myself, and I couldn’t do that unless I put in the work and make the choices that help me meet that goal. Same in life I guess. I can wish as much as I want for a full-time position, or even several part-time positions–but unless I put in the work to make that happen, I most likely won’t ever get there. I believe that so many of us are living in a world of entitlement expectations–and I for one have begun to realize that I have a lot of work to do in order to drop that from my understanding of what life is all about.

Amazingly, after I had this revelation, I received a phone call for a potential position. It isn’t the greatest position ever–but it’s one in which I will happily accept, knowing that it will be my own effort & attitude that will propel me into one that I like better.

This weekend’s goal is 13 miles. I wonder what I might learn. As I gain some of these insights (or revelations to me), I hope to post them. Happy running.

Adulthood

The quoted section below is an excerpt from the much celebrated interview that Terry Gross of Fresh Air did with Jon Stewart in October (Yes, I’m just getting to it.  Did I mention we have a mobile infant in the house?).  Apart from being very funny, Jon Stewart pretty much encapsulates what I try to do on a daily basis.  What I love is not so much what he says, as what he leaves out.  My friends tend to be pretty responsible people, so much of this is just preaching to the choir and me venting at nobody in particular, but too often I see adult, grown-ass men (and women) just not wanting to act like adults and do the hard stuff.

When Mr. Stewart describes his approach to balancing work and home, you’ll notice that he doesn’t talk about making sure that he gets to watch the game or go out with his poker buddies.  If these things happen, I’m sure he’s probably thrilled as it’s undoubtedly important to make time for yourself.  But the bottom line is that for the most part, adults have made adult decisions and have responsibilities to other people based on those decisions.

Work at work.  Be at home at home.  Then, if there’s time and energy left, do whatever the hell you want.  My experience suggests that you will have approximately 20 minutes at the end of everyday for this.  Cherish it.  The experiences of the people I consider to be extremely successful in life suggests that doing this now means that down the road, you’ll have all the time and energy and creativity and support to do whatever you want for nearly as long as you want.  But for now, when people rely on you because of decisions you’ve made, do the hard stuff.  Hold yourself accountable.  Hold your partner accountable.

GROSS: Have you changed the amount of time you’re willing to devote to the show and to work, now that you’re the father of two?

Mr. STEWART: No. I’d rather they suffer.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. STEWART: I’d rather not. I figure I’ll catch up with them.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. STEWART: No. But what I have decided is when I’m home, I’m home. And to me, that’s the difference. You know, I can’t not be at work, but the real challenge is when I’m at work, I’m at work. I’m locked in, I’m ready to go, I’m focused. When I’m at home, I’m locked in, and I’m ready to go, and I’m focused on home. And we don’t watch the show. We don’t watch the news. We don’t do any of that stuff. I sit down, I play Barbies. I, you know – and then sometimes, the kids will come home and play with me…You know, it just – you know, they’re just sitting there. I mean, she’s got a horse and a kitchen, and I just think like, the possibilities.

If I’m able to give them my full attention for the amount of time I’m able to give it to them, I prefer that to, you know – I like to turn the switch on and off. And it’s still, you know, it’ll – in times like this, I don’t sleep well, just because of so much that’s going on. But I try not to let it affect me in my waking hours.

2011

For the life of me, I don’t understand why teenagers often report that old people are uncool and that they never want to get married and have kids.

My wife and I just rang in the new year by eating various kinds of fried food I bought at the Wal-Mart today, drinking a Sam Adams seasonal brew, and watching a bad movie from the Redbox followed by a House Hunters marathon.

What’s not to love about that?

(Ah, who am I kidding?  I couldn’t be happier.  Teenagers are stupid.)