I’m always amazed at how parents deal with their children, especially in public places. It seems as though people who have children somehow automatically develop a muffler for their ears, designed to take out the sound of their children. Unfortunately, the rest of us (who don’t have any kids) do not have this evolutionary ability–and the level of noise seems to stress us out.
The other day, a large family came in and herded themselves around the counter as they all tried to place their order together. The smallest member of the family (about 4 years old) kept saying, “I want a coffee!”
The mom ignored her, as she was trying to get the rest of the family’s drinks ordered. As she kept fielding requests from the other members of the family, the child kept trying to get her attention.
At first, she kept repeating her request. “I want a coffee too!” She must have repeated this four or five times. To no avail, her mother kept ordering drinks for the rest of the family.
I could already see what the next phase of the child’s plan was–if at first you don’t succeed, try again. And if you try and fail again, try harder–or at least in her case, try louder.
The child became impatient that her mother didn’t acknowledge her, so she got louder. “Mom! I WANT A COFFEE!” “COFFEE!” “COFFEE MOM!” “I WANT A COFFEE!”
Her mother looked at me and quietly said, “She wants a hot chocolate that comes in the cup that looks like the rest of ours. She thinks that is coffee.”
As the mother tells me this, I notice that she never directly lets her child know that she heard her.
“COFFEE!” “COFFEE! MOM I WANT A COFFEE!”
My coworker looked at me when the mother (and family) were distracted and asked if I heard that sound.
“What sound?” I asked.
“The sound of my tubes being tied.” she responded.
Although I didn’t get it at first, it was quite a funny line.
I repeated the order to the mother and tried to give her a total, the child shouted at her mother, “DON”T FORGET ME! I WANT A COFFEE TOO! WITH WHIPPED CREAM!”
That was it. I couldn’t take it any more. So, I simply stopped, and looked directly at the child and said, “I heard you.”
This of course shocked the child, so I followed up with “We’ll make sure your coffee comes with whipped cream.” At this point, the chaotic and frantic request of noise ceased.
The mother looked at me incredulously, and then said “Thank you.”
As I got all the drinks together, I pulled the hot chocolate and handed it directly to the child. I said, “Here’s your coffee–with whipped cream.”
She took the drink, looked at me and said, “Thank you.”
Sometimes, I wonder if all of us just want to feel like we’ve been heard. I also wonder what would happen if the rest of us just took the time to truly listen.
