Tebow

Okay, everyone is writing about Tebow, and while we don’t have much insight into what he might do/be as a football player, we do think he’s an interesting story for another reason.  By nearly all accounts, Tebow’s primary asset that he had going for him was his personality.  He is described as a hard worker, a leader, respectful of his teammates, someone who is coachable, who wants to win at almost any cost, but not at the cost of his integrity or his sportsmanship.  Off the field, his chronicles are equally well known.  He goes on mission trips, he gives motivational speeches, he supports charitable and conservative Christian causes.

Yup, that’s right.  Being not an asshole is apparently so hard to find, that it can be considered an asset.  Being a decent person is now a commodity!  Really, we applaud Tebow for his efforts, but what we’re absolutely not in favor of is raising his off the field accomplishments to a new level simply because the bar for big time athletes is so low.  There are countless more people in this world who give far more time and money and energy to causes which will never benefit them.

By overcelebrating what Tebow has done we are also celebrating him for what he hasn’t done.  He hasn’t (to our knowledge) coerced men or women into sexual activity, gambled on his own sport, taken drugs or PEDS, or led a dogfighting ring.  We lionize him as much for what he is as for what he is not.

The danger in valorizing Tebow’s off the field actions to such an extreme extent is that his behavior somehow comes to be seen as abnormal.  When we celebrate his charity and decentness like they are rare pieces of humanity only to be found in the best of people, we subtly reinforce the behavior of people who aren’t like Tim as the norm.

So yes, Tebow does undeniably good things, but let’s not pretend that he is somehow better because he’s NOT Ben Roethlisberger or Tiger Woods.  You’re not supposed to be those guys, and most of us normal people aren’t.  Most of us-most of the people we know-are much closer to Tebow than we are to Ben or Tiger.  This doesn’t make us all saints.  It makes us all, Tebow included, normal.

Distinctions II: I Know It’s Raining ‘Cause I’m Wet

This time of year you will hear countless football analysts on T.V. saying the following: The better team usually beat the worse team.

Stunning analysis, huh?

Now you may be saying to yourself, “Self.  I’ve never heard anyone on T.V. say that at all.  They give me reasons why one team will beat another or some insight into how the game will be played.”

But if we look closer at what they say, we’ll find that they don’t really give us any analysis at all.  Let’s just start with the biggest one.

In the playoffs, the team that gets the most turnovers wins the game 94% of the time.

Okay, so I made that number up.  Still, you get the idea.  But here’s my point.  The team that forces the other team to turn the ball over IS THE BETTER TEAM!!!  If the two teams were indeed equal, then we could perhaps claim that the turnovers will win/lose the game, but they are so rarely equal.  Teams don’t win because of the turnovers.  They win because they have better players and coaches.  Turnovers are a byproduct of smarter, better coached, more athletic players.  They  don’t just occur randomly.  Most of the time they are forced when a superior player dislodges, dismembers or otherwise separates an inferior player from the ball.

Once you notice this flaw it’ll be hard not to see it.  You’re welcome.  I just ruined football broadcasts for you.  Now, you’ll never be able to hear someone say “The team with the lead at the end of the first quarter goes on to win the game 194% of the time” without thinking to yourself.  Yeah, no shit.  The team that scores the most points in the first 1/4 of the game probably scored them because they’re better than the other team.