Dispatches from London X-Home Edition

So as you can imagine, Texans have a somewhat, uh, unique relationship with London.  For a while we had our own embassy there when we were our own country.  (Ya’ll do know that we were once our own country, right?).  Since then, Texans have loved and hated this place.  (Unlike NYC which we pretty much just hate).  Anyway, in honor of my return, I offer the following song and lyrics.  You can see the video here and the lyrics are below (and they’ll explain the picture).

LONDON HOMESICK BLUES by Gary P. Nunn
Well, when you’re down on your luck,
And you ain’t got a buck,
In London you’re a goner.
Even London Bridge has fallen down,
And moved to Arizona,
Now I know why.
And I’ll substantiate the rumor that the English sense of humor
Is drier than than the Texas sand.
You can put up your dukes, and you can bet your boots
But I’m leavin’ just as fast as I can.

Chorus
I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
The friendliest people and the prettiest women you’ve ever seen.

Well, it’s cold over here, and I swear
I wish they’d turn the heat on.
And where in the world is that English girl
I promised I would meet on the third floor.
And of the whole damn lot, the only friend I’ve got
Is a smoke and a cheap guitar.
My mind keeps roamin’, my heart keeps longin’
To be home in a Texas bar.

Chorus

Well, I decided that I’d get my cowboy hat
And go down to Marble Arch Station.
‘Cause when a Texan fancies, he’ll take his chances.
Chances will be taken, that’s for sure.
And them Limey eyes, they were eyein’ the prize
That some people call manly footwear.
And they said you’re from down South,
And when you open your mouth,
You always seem to put your foot there.

Repeat chorus ’til the cows come home.

Dispatches from London IX-WTTW Edition

One of the things I’ve been doing with my free time here is running as a way to prepare for the 100 mile bike ride I’m doing at the end of August.  Since I don’t have a bike here, I’ve just been trying to run for as long as I can at one time without stopping, not really caring how fast I run or how far I get.  Yesterday, I decided to really push myself as sort of a test since it was my last running day here.  I ran for 2 hours straight and covered something like 12-13 miles.  That’s amazing to me.  If a year ago you would have suggested to me that I would have run a half-marathon, I wouldn’t have believed you.  Needless to say, I’m paying the price for it today (I’m very sore), but that’s okay.  Big props to Tony and Mike for getting me through this as PTI podcasts from the previous week are the only thing that kept me chugging (like a train, get it?) through the boredom and monotony.

On a possibly related note, my general crotchetal area is very sore. So Word to the Wise, if you plan on running for that long, I would highly suggest that you have the right equipment.  I don’t know exactly what that is, but I know that it is something other than cycling pants and loose shorts.  I know that much.

Dispatches from London VIII

This is just for my mom.  How on earth could anybody actually buy anything here?

Dispatches from London VII

Back in Texas in one week.  Salsa here I come.  There’s one decent Mexican food restaurant here.  It’s called the Texas Embassy which stands near the site where the Republic of Texas had it’s embassy in London during it’s brief period of statehood (I’m not making this up).  And get this, the first basket of chips and salsa is on the house (after that, it’s about $4.00!).

Regardless, I’m ready to come home.  It’s been great, but I’ll be happy to be home.

Dispatches from London VI

It’s unclear if the guy proselytizing and trying to spread the good word of “Jesus as the salvator” (direct quote) is aware of the sign leaning on the fence behind him which reads “Beware.  Thieves Operate In This Area,” but I find it hilarious.

Dispatches from London V

What you’ll notice in the picture above is that it’s late afternoon (long shadows), and it’s a public park.  What is important about this photo, however, lies in what you can’t see.  First, this photo doesn’t provide quite enough detail to show you that nearly everyone of age in this park is drinking.  Bottles of wine, glasses of beer, a little champagne.  It’s 6:30 on a Friday afternoon and many groups of people have headed to the park to have a little end of week happy hour.  What you also can’t see, because it doesn’t exist, is the entire social fabric of Britain being ripped apart.  You don’t see young people losing their morals.  Nobody is having sex in the park, the sky is not falling, Armageddon has not occurred.  Yes, that’s right.  People drinking in public places and everything is okay.  Well ho-lee crap.  There’s like no place in the U.S. where you can do this (save N.O.).  We’ve been told it’s because it creates too many problems.  Well I suggest that relegating alcohol consumption to marginalized spaces and cordoned off areas is what creates the problems.  I mean for god’s sake, if the Brits can figure it out, we should.  We’re the greatest country in the history of the world.

On a related note, are all my posts from London about alcohol?

Dispatches from London IV-Ireland Edition

What a view, huh?  This is the Sky Bar at the top of the Guinness Brewery in Dublin.  Full 360 degree views of the city.  Everyone drinking free beer.  How could you possibly screw this up?  Well let me tell you.  First, you don’t actually let people see how or where the beer is made.  Instead of showing off the production facilities like they do in every other brewery tour I’ve ever been on, they let you watch some videos and climb through 5 stories of noisy, crowded, confused people in the most disappointing thing I’ve ever come across in my travels.  I mean, here stands the Guinness Brewery-the place that makes so many dreams come true-and yet what we get to see could just as easily have been located in Los Angeles.  It was just a museum tour.  Ahhhh, suck.  The rest of Ireland was great, but this was sooo sad.  Oh, did I mention it’s $15 a person for the tour and a “free” beer?

Dispatches from London I

****Throughout my time in London, I’ll try and post some thoughts about the city.  I’ll even try and post a photograph at the same time.  The two may or may not have anything to do with each other (e.g., this post about prostitutes and a picture of Trafalger Square).****

At first, I thought there were a lot of prostitutes here in London…then I realized that’s just how the women dress here.  I love this place.

Science

At STN we are both scientists (one a brewer, the other a sociologist), and as scientists we must say that the state of affairs in the world is unacceptable.  We are disappointed in our colleagues for their laziness and lack of dedication.  To take one completely random example, it is currently not possible to have chips and salsa or a decent chimichanga delivered from a good Mexican food restaurant in Texas to someplace across the world (England, say) while it is still hot and fresh.  This is abominable and we chastise the entire scientific community for not figuring this out.  Shame on you other scientists.  Shame on you.

Note: The example above was derived purely at random and has nothing to do with one half of STN’s impending departure to the land of bland food for 5 weeks.  Nothing at all.